To that voice in there that is trying to have a say. I know you want to show your power and wit, generosity and love. I have unearthed you in my journaling over the past few years. Slowly giving you more voice and you are getting louder and louder. I give over to you each morning when it is still and dark. I give you the space on the page, journal after journal. You guide me, but it is limited because I have confined you to the page. Sometimes I'll hear you whisper "i like that" but I always think, I don't need it. I apologize. I have berated, harmed and shamed you into a tiny dark hole of desperation. But you are a survivor and you have not given up! You are scrappy and resourceful. I see you when I run- wild and free. There is no criticizing, just primal energy. I want to apologize for my stubbornness, always thinking what I tried last time might just work this time, but it never does. I apologize for getting disheartened so quickly and not having patience. I am sorry for the long, slow suffocation for so many years and for not standing up for you when you have tried to show up. I am ready to give you free creative reign and live a life of wonder, adventure and endless expression. I hope that you will forgive me. I hand you the key to my heart. You are a much better caretaker. Instead of asking, "is that all there is?" I now ask, "is there still enough time to show, do, express all that I have to give in this life?" The answer is always yes. Start now.
